Talking myself into it, by talking myself out of it

I’ve been a little quiet of late, not because I’m not writing… on the contrary, I’ve been writing (and researching) like a crazy person.

I’ve been working on a series of short stories which I hope to share with all of you in the not too distant future. A couple of them have been submitted to competitions and so as not to jinx myself, I won’t say anything further about those.

The research however is what has been occupying the bulk of my time.

I’m trying to talk myself out of a potentially lucrative writing gig.

“WHAT?”

Yup, it’s true! I’m spending my many research hours looking for ways to decide not to take on this task of writing. It would be a job which would incorporate virtually all of my passions and combine them to possibly not only make pretty decent money, but more importantly be a fulfilling and satisfying use of my time.

“WHY WOULD YOU TRY TO TALK YOURSELF OUT OF THAT YOU NINNY?”

For those of you who know me well know that I am, errrr, ummmmm, passionate… the leaping in with with both feet, eyes closed kind of passionate. I’m a believer and an optimist. I WANT things to work and (sometimes naively) believe that if I WANT it badly enough it will happen. I don’t always look at the downside of things, and with great karmic humour, that is what usually comes back to bite me in the butt. I won’t go through a list of my failed attempts but not because they are an embarrassment, but because I still believe they will eventually work out… and this new endeavour may be exactly the right platform for it to all come together in one neat little package for me… if I manage not to talk myself out of it that is!

And so pretending (with my greatest Oscar worthy performance) that I am analytical and businesslike, I am diligently searching for reasons that I will hate/be incapable of/grow tired of/be pathetic at this potentially fabulous project. I’ve even given myself a deadline in which to decide. How very reasonable and rational of me! Downright level headed one might even say!

Once I’ve controlled the urge to romanticize this task which is my typical course, you will hear from me again, either announcing loudly and proudly what the work is all about… or you will have a funny cynical, smart mouthed post about someone/something that pissed me off and how it has impacted my writing.

Wish me luck!

About Stacia

Follow me on Twitter at @staciaEcarlton
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